~ I’ve Got Sex On My Mind, And Since I'm No Good At Writing About It , This Is The Best I Can Do.... ~
by BlindzonElyzon

Disclaimers: It’s all mine, the whole lot!! They think they can get away with it, but they can’t for I am here to state the truth…(allowing for dramatic pause)…okay, never mind. My grandiose moment has passed and I’m not much in the mood for being sued. So those guys at MCA/Universal and Ren Pics are the rightful owners of XWP and the characters therein. This story is mine though. So there!

Subtext Warning: If I am blatantly talking about two women in love and they are actively acting upon their love, would a subtext warning really apply? Those of you who aren’t allowed either by law, age, or closed mindedness to read such things, move along now, there’s nothing to see here.

Acknowledgements: Kam, besides being tolerant of my ever-loving harassment, I am extremely appreciative of your help and friendship. So when are we going for those beers neither of us likes?

Special Notes: Bear with me a second. (No Claire, not this kind of bare, it’s not a cue to take off your clothes!) (Well, unless you want to?? Grrr!) Okay, any resemblance to real life people of the Xenaverse was purely on purpose. I hope you enjoy the tribute.

I wish I knew what got into me to write this, because I’d have it removed! <g Maybe it was the influence of Kam’s ‘Mustache’. Or it could have been recent around the world reports from a wandering bard. Possibly it was due to the influence of the Guard’s list and it’s clever (but now illegal, right LJ) banter. But I think the true blame must fall on one person and she knows who she is. For all the innuendo, subtext, and general naughtiness of your wicked , wicked emails I thank you Claire. Okay, I must confess there was none of that stuff but she sure does make me laugh a lot. I’m proud to be your stalker. <g

Feedback: Feedback: Yes, my ego needs it! BlindzonElyzon@aol.com

 Where shall I begin? Tradition would have me start at the beginning, but as I look at it, I would lose you all to disinterest before any excitement should arrive, for the beginning is rather dull. I cannot fly to the end of this encounter, for you would become greatly confused, not knowing where our two champions have been or why they did what they did. So it seems obvious to me at this time that I must start in the middle, post boredom and pre-confusion. Yes, that sounds about right, that will be our starting point.

I think that is when Xena and Gabrielle met up with Hermaphaditis, or was it more like got an education about…wait, I don’t want to get ahead of myself here. One thing at a time.

Having just saved another innocuous village from another demanding and over zealous warlord, our two ladies decided they needed a break. Even heroes need a vacation, or if they can’t get away, they at least need a respite from the rescuing business.

Gabrielle had decided that a short excursion into the country would be far more practical and certainly more pleasant than letting Xena plan another vacation. Just between you and me, she told me that if she had to make one more stop visiting one more battlefield or warlord’s Hall of Fame, she would have induced her own coma and blissfully spent the rest of her life with Najara. Oh, by the way, if you want to read more about that eventful trip, my fellow bards Lariel and Temora have chronicled those travels in a most splendid and entertaining manner.

You must pardon the fact that I tend to digress as I have done at this time. Do try to keep up or read about every other paragraph and you will do fine.

Let’s see, where was I? Ah yes, the country. You may be asking yourself, why the country; aren’t they always in the country? Well, yes. They do spend a great deal of time there, but the key here, it wasn’t in a needy village and therefore, they were off duty. So to speak.

There is nothing remarkable to be told as to their actual location. There was present your standard amount of trees, indigenous animals, and of course the nearby stream for fishing, bathing, and....er, um, other recreational activities.

Again let me divert for a moment. If you are hoping for more details and explicit description of the afore mentioned recreational activities, you will be sorely disappointed. I am not that kind of bard! And I suck at the writing of it. I can suggest some of my counterparts who have a certain, shall we say, ability for such story telling, but you will have to ask me in private.

Back to the point. Assuming I have one that is.

 

The night had passed without incident. I am not going to count the slight strained groin muscle Gabrielle injured when attempting to be …creative. And I ain’t talking about her barding. Needless to say, Xena, being the more than skilled healer, promptly tended to her companion’s needs, which led to more of that stuff I already said I wasn’t going to talk about.

Come to think of it, nothing much happened that day either. I know, I know, I said I was going to skip the boring part, that’s what I’m doing. Hold on to your frocks and let me tell the story my way, okay? Sheesh, this generation wants everything right now. In my day, we let a bard tell their tale as they saw fit, sometimes it took a few days to finish a good story. You kids… I’m doing it again, aren’t I? Sorry.

I believe it was that evening, or maybe the next. Guess it doesn’t really matter one way or the other. That these two wonderfully in love, and very horny, partners solitude was interrupted. They didn’t know it at first, being otherwise preoccupied at the time. Even Xena’s keen sense of surroundings was already overly stimulated.

These two sure are amorous aren’t they? Wish I had it so good, but no such luck. There was that girl once who was double jointed... Now, talk about a neat trick, she could twist herself so that… I’m thinking I’m a little preoccupied myself.

Anyway, Xena and Gabrielle were lost in the heat of the moment and since they were out in the middle of nowhere, well, there was no reason for inhibitions. Nearby villagers still tell of the haunting sounds of moaning and such from that night. The fear filled peasants just attributed it to the legend of the woods and what lurked there. By the way, did you know that Gabrielle has quite an octave range?

Now even though they weren’t from that particular part of Greece, word of the insidious inhabitant had spread far and wide. How these two never heard of the mysterious inhabitant of these woods, well, it’s beyond me. Many a tale was told about a creature who resided alone there and how it sought out young lovers. What it did after it had sought them out varied from household to household all depending on the age, sex, and promiscuity of the child in residence.

Basically the creature’s legend had gone beyond mere myth status and was now used as a tool in sex prevention among young adults. Incidentally, the number of immaculate conceptions dropped remarkably since the implementation of this program. We won’t go into the statistics on livestock abuse; it’s not particularly relevant at this juncture and a little too disturbing.

Ahem.

So, our lovers had rocked each other’s world and now lay there embracing and spent. Breathing returning to normal and once again with most senses functioning, Xena became aware that they were being watched. Without hesitation, she unceremoniously dumped the unsuspecting bard to the ground as she leapt to her feet.

For such a small woman, Gabrielle made quite a loud thud. Furthermore, she uttered a number of unseemly expletives that are not in keeping with her wholesome image, but did show off her creative word use and phrasing as a bard. That girl has the mouth of a sailor when riled or suddenly startled while basking in the afterglow.

Xena ignored the incensed bard and postured herself in full warrior mode, on alert and ready to rumble. In all her natural glory, she surveyed the surrounding landscape sensing, but not seeing the hidden intruder. In one swift movement, she drew her sword and called out to the darkness demanding the unwanted visitor to show itself.

Slowly an indistinguishable form emerged from the blackness. The object was cloaked in dark cloth, its appearance still hidden from view. It continued to advance on Xena who was poised in readiness. Forgetting her nakedness, Xena instructed the being in front of her to reveal itself.

A low, raspy, almost inaudible noise was heard, but not comprehended by the waiting warrior. The sound grew in intensity, becoming almost gruesome as the obviously mucus induced, raspy gurgles and violent wheezing and coughing soon followed. Unable to stop herself, Xena stepped back and away to a safer distance from the slurping noises.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, the creature had regained control and no longer convulsed. Having caught its breath, it straightened and slowly removed the cloak covering its form.

Now I’m not going to say our champion was fearful of the creatures revelation, I’m no fool and don’t want her to sue me for slander. I will say that those present felt a certain amount of apprehension. Yeah, that should be safe enough to say, if not, I’ll be seeking out Advocate’s services. Are you in the book?

Xena let out a horror-filled gasp. Gabrielle, being modest in nature and a quick dresser, had thrown her sexy little outfit on. Grrr! Hubba hubba! Murphy, I hope you don’t mind me borrowing some of your exclamations it, just seemed so appropo.

Oh yeah, a small shriek(more from what she thought she was going to see than what she actually saw,) escaped from Gabrielle’s lips.

The flickering light of the fire illuminated a person oozing and dripping with a slime substance off their face. Xena was repulsed and Gabrielle gagged.

Then, before our two lovers knew what hit them, (literally,) the person sneezed mightily, causing the oozing substance to become projectiles. Having the quicker reflexes, Xena ducked in time and managed to have most of the slime fly over her. However, the still gagging Gabrielle was not as fortunate and became glazed with mucus. The thoroughly disgusted bard wretched to the point of …

(I’m feeling a little nauseous myself so I’m just going to leave it right there and let you all imagine as much detail as you are comfortable with. )

It was then that the person spoke for the first time. The words were barely comprehensible through the gelatinous material covering its mouth. The words sounded something like this, "Ooh soozme. Ium zo norri" and more substance drained from her nasal area.

Well, our little hurling bard had regained control, for the most part, and stood there, arms outstretched, not wanting to touch her self. A mix of emotion ran across Xena’s face, finally landing on mild amusement, but knowing it would be best to keep it to herself, she faced the original owner of the slime. She addressed the being in front of her with curiosity and question in her voice, asking the vile creature who it was and what it wanted.

Another wretched gurgling sound emanated from the creature before it began to speak. Between sputtering and wheezing, the being informed Xena and Gabrielle that its name was Hermaphaditis and that it heard these cries in the woods and became concerned that someone was in need of help. Furthermore it explained that no one was ever in the woods after dark, and when it heard these obviously pained cries, it knew it had to act.

Now our little bard with the big mouth was no longer suffering from a stomach wanting to be free of its contents, instead she was blushing very brightly and noticeably despite the darkness.

Xena had relaxed with this new information and realization that the petite partner was the culprit for Hermaphaditis’ concerns. She slipped out of warrior mode and into her leathers as she assessed she was more in danger of catching a chill than harm from the oozing presence before her.

Gabrielle, having overcome her embarrassment, had her own questions to ask. There were many, but I will only repeat the most relevant ones. Maybe it was because she was caught so off-guard, or maybe it was due to her current disgusting predicament, but all tact and decorum of the usually sensitive bard just flew out the…well, it was gone. Boldly and without hesitation she asked Hermaphaditis what in Tartarus was wrong with …and then another thought dawned on her. What is Hermaphaditis?? It was one of those genderless names. Just like Sam Ruskin, but don’t worry, I’ve already cleared up that question with my own probing curiosity.

Once Gabrielle was able to get past the slimy substance dripping from Hermaphaditis’ facial orifices, she noted that she wasn’t sure she was addressing a man or a woman. Hermaphaditis’ appearance was rather nondescript, having short brownish hair, brown matching eyes, and a somewhat stocky build and only slightly taller than the bard herself. The clothing worn were sensible for living in the woods but provided no more clues as to the gender of its wearer. The cloak covered an unremarkable brown cloth shirt and trousers, with matching brown boots. Everything looked rather dull, particularly to Gabrielle’s newfound sense of fashion.

Finding her reserve of lost manners, Gabrielle replaced the perplexed look that had suddenly appeared on her countenance and put on a polite smile. Hemming and hawing, she was about to ask Hermaphaditis, as coyly as possible, if there was someone waiting at home for…er, them?

Hermaphaditis only replied stuffily ‘no’ to the inquiry.

About to ask another hopefully more informative question, Xena interrupted with one of her own. The warrior had been watching the green fluids with transfixed intrigue, surprising herself with the curiosity of such a gross exhibition. Unable to restrain her curiosity any further she asked if Hermaphaditis had a nasty cold or something.

Hermaphaditis again indicated no, but this time by shaking the fluid-filled head. Of course, the substance splattered onto the ground in small puddles of slime. Hermaphaditis then spoke, stating that she suffered greatly from the dreaded Boogieman’s disease.

Acknowledging the statement by taking another step back, and then seeing she was closer to her snot covered companion, she took another step away from Gabrielle.

Xena had heard tales told of the Boogieman. That it found its prey at night and all traces of its victims would disappear except for the remaining deposit of ooze found in the missing person’s place. Once again, she lifted her sword in a defensive posture, flicking off the coagulated gel from the glinting metal.

Gabrielle heard little of what was being said, otherwise preoccupied with the dripping matter and the reflexive retching that continued. However her ears perked up at the mention of the boogieman and her cognitive wheels processed the information. She believed this small piece of information contained what she needed to determine the gender identity of Hermaphaditis.

Okay, okay, time to recap a little. Xena, big bad warrior hero, feeling threatened by what she believed to be the boogieman standing in front of her. Gabrielle, the more responsive and sensitive type, acutely aware of the gender identity issue before her. So what’s this say about our two ladies? Xena views everything as a possible fight to be guarded against and Gabrielle is projecting, I mean, is more in tune with the person.

What do you mean so what? Hey, I thought you all might be interested in knowing a little more about what makes our girls tick. I could get all clinical on you with diagnosis, summarizations of their psychosocial profiles, but I thought you’d might find that a tad boring. Not to mention, this is my off time and supposed hobby, so I’m trying to stay away from that psychobabble bull**** (censored since I had nothing in my disclaimers about vulgar language.)

Now Gabrielle’s curiosity was getting the best of her and overcame her utter disgust, so she moved closer to speak more casually with Hermaphaditis. However in doing so, being unaccustomed to slimal coverings, she stepped forward and slipped rather ungracefully toward her soon to be resting place, atop Hermaphaditis. The sound of the fall? Oh, and the position she ended up in…eesh! I don’t think either was prepared for such intimacy. The fall resembled less of a thud and was more of a squishing variety, as Gabrielle landed.

Despite her total mortification, Gabrielle could also be considered an opportunist and took advantage to answer a few pressing questions.

For the first time in her life, Xena hesitated to react. She saw it happening, Gabrielle starting to move and then crashing down upon Hermaphaditis. She even began to intercept the bard from her eventual outcome, but she stopped herself from doing anything. Whether it was the fact that she knew she would have slipped right off Gabrielle due to the putrid mixture of mucus and digestional juices or her own latent fear of the boogieman from the tales told to her as a child, Xena remained inanimate. The once fearless warrior looked on in horror as the love of her life appeared to be groping the vile creature beneath her.

Also for the first time in her life, the appalled warrior screamed like a girl calling out Gabrielle’s name in horror.

Well, obviously this caught Gabrielle’s attention. Such a nancy boy reaction from the normally stoic demeaned woman. Do you think it’s alright saying Xena was ‘nancy boy-like’ since she is the more butch of the two? Those of you who don’t mind keep reading while I and the others have a little talk about the facts of lesbian life.

The bard, now brought to her senses, stopped what she had been doing and slipped off the now groaning and slightly aroused Hermaphaditis. She slithered away partly from embarrassment from what she had been searching for and partly in astonishment in what she had found. Stammering in disbelief she demanded to know what sort of creature Hermaphaditis really was.

Shaken out of the state of disbelief of the exhibition that was just displayed before her and once again finding her proper voice, Xena declared Hermaphaditis to be the dreaded and most dangerous Boogieman. She, of course struck her warrior- read- for-action-in-case-there-is-trouble pose and maneuvered herself closer but not too close to Gabrielle.

Hermaphaditis sat up and cleared her throat, hocking up a good one and not so discreetly spitting it out. Straightening the rumpled and askew clothes that Gabrielle so kindly rearranged, she shook her head and quietly began to speak of the fate that had befallen her.

Hermaphaditis told the two onlookers of how she was a precocious child and living in the nearby village was far to dull for her naturally inquisitive mind. Her curiosity grew as she reached adolescence but her parents were far to straight-laced to answer the questions that were stirred up by her increasing hormones. Like the other pubescents of her village she had watched the farm animals in fascination but this only led to more questions. Knowing her parents backwards way, she did not dare to mention any of her concerns so took it upon herself to discover the answers.

Sneaking from her house, she would head to the nearest home, which was conveniently occupied by a newly joined couple. It was there where her real education began for the two were quite taken with each other and rather imaginative in the process of taking each other too.

Well, young Hermaphaditis’ fascination continued to grow and she knew there had to be more out there to see. So what started out as an innocent seeking of knowledge became an obsessed need to leer at the varied and sundry ways of doing the deed.

You guys know I’m not talking about churning butter or anything so mundane as that, right? I want to make sure I haven’t lost you with my poetic phrasing for Copulating, making love, doing the wild thing, getting’ jiggy wid it, doing the horizontal mambo, riding the pony, bumping uglies (Murph, I’m sure!), and of course not to leave out good ole f*******! (Damn those censors!)

Are we all together now? Good.

On one fateful night, Hermaphaditis was cutting through the woods wanting to go to the good neighbor Jones’ home. She had been all around the village but there was nothing like keeping up with the Jones’ and their escapades. When she heard the luring sounds of bawdy love making echoing in the woods, she could not resist and had to seek them out.

Creeping through the brush she came upon the quite vocal and rather acrobatic makers of love. I think the more accurate would be makers of lust, but I didn’t want to sound lewd.

The site before her very eyes was nothing like she had ever seen and the young Hermaphaditis was so completely captivated that she forgot herself. Wandering forth from the cover of darkness she moved in closer to get a better seat and take notes. Since the participants were otherwise busied and had their hands full, they took no notice of her, until…

I have mentioned she was sneaking out at night, right? Did I also say it was early spring and therefore somewhat chilly. In case I didn’t, it was.

Our little Hermaphaditis had been out several nights in a row and the exposure to the elements had taken their toll for she had begun to catch a head cold. Suddenly and without warning, a sneeze escaped her. No little sneeze, I might add. It was the kind that echoed through the woods and had she been better mannered she would have covered her face, but she did not and spittle sprayed over the formerly engrossed but now thoroughly grossed displayers of desire.

Hold it! I’m thinking I either need a break or should end this tale as soon as possible. Even that last bit of description is pushing the envelop just a little too far for me.

Three sets of eyes cast annoyed glares directly at the now red-faced Hermaphaditis who was basically caught with her pants down. Not literally, it’s a figure of speech, you know. I could tell you that story but it will have to be another time because I want to finish up this one, have some lunch, and fold my laundry. Being a bard doesn’t pay too well does it, so I still have to take care of everything myself. How’d that Missy Good get discovered anyway? I want to be doing this and making some money too. Anybody know her agent?

Let me just veer myself back to the story now.

A sheepish smile…er, I’ll just leave farm animal descriptions out of this. How about, an embarrassed expression accompanied Hermaphaditis’ red-face and she began to stammer an apology for the interruption when the greatly irritated and obvious woman in charge…what’s her name? I’m so bad with names. I think it was…Claire, yeah that’s it.

Anyway, Claire was a little ticked off for she was caught with her pants down, this time literally, as were the other members of this…party. Now if you think I’m going to reveal the others in this group, you are about to be disappointed. They aren’t ready to be outted and it wouldn’t be fair for me to do the outing. But I will say Claire sure has great taste. Grrrr again!

Claire was so miffed that anyone dare disturb her own personal naked Olympics that she cursed the unwanted intruder. Yep she cursed at her but she also cursed her. Summoning up her gods-given gifts, she zapped the bewildered Hermaphaditis and cursed her by amplifying what was already there in her mind.

Poor Hermaphaditis had a couple of thoughts running through her mind, one being she hoped her cold wouldn’t get too bad, and the other had more to do with what she was watching. The intertwined bodies, the not knowing where one part of anatomy was going to end up and with whom, and the pure amazement of it all. The young girl went through such a change of life at that moment.

Her body began to morph; the breast that had begun to develop in puberty blossomed big time. But the truly astounding change snuck up on her and again I’m talking literally. She felt the changes and wondered what the heck could be going on between her legs, not exactly there, up a little…I’m messing this up. I’ll cut to the chase; a very big and manly penis had sprouted from her loins and was at full attention.

Suddenly front heavy, Hermaphaditis stumbled slightly forward and it then she noticed she was dripping. Get your mind out of the gutter! She dripped from her nose not elsewhere! The drip turned into a dribble and eventually an out and out flooding of nasal matter. She was a mess.

Before she could beg for forgiveness and the return to her normal self, Claire and her entourage left, mumbling something about finding the virgins and goats. I’m not exactly sure what that is all about though and really has nothing to do with the story so I’ll leave well enough alone.

Alrighty, let’s re-introduce our champions.

Gabrielle sat there unmoving. The gelatinous material had hardened during the listening of Hermaphaditis, and she was now encased in a mucus tomb. This also kept her from talking, finally a way to keep her quiet!

Xena no longer viewed the pathetic wretch as the Boogieman, instead seeing her as a semi-innocent victim of a sex crazed bully. Now she had to help Hermaphaditis but she still wouldn’t go anywhere near her, but inquired as to where she might find this vixen Claire.

Several hours later, after a long soaking to loosen Gabrielle’s entrapment and a quick ride over on Argo, the defenders of the innocent, Xena and Gabrielle, arrived at Claire’s hut. That Hermaphaditis sure gives good directions.

Xena politely knocked at the door but there was no replied answer. Not wanting to waste the trip, she thought to check out back and quickly came across one very tall, dark haired, and naked woman doing something or other. Xena wasn’t paying attention to what the woman was actually involved in, more to what she was getting an eyeful of. Gabrielle couldn’t help but notice the agaped expression of her warrior companion and the lengthy leering that she was doing and brought the drooling woman’s attention back to the mission with a sound smack to her stomach.

The ‘oofing’ that escaped Xena’s lips gained the attention of the naked woman, who was nonplussed by the unexpected visitors and her current state of unclcladdedness. She turned and simply asked with a funny little accent as to how she could be of assistance.

Gabrielle told me the woman had a most radiant smile, but it’s kind of funny how that bit of description was left out by Xena. Matter of fact, she couldn’t remember her eye color either. Hmm, that’s not much like her; she usually is dead on with details like that. It must have been an off day for her or something.

Seeing that Xena still hadn’t caught her breath, Gabrielle decided to take the lead and asked if the woman knew where they could find the fiendish Claire.

A look of shock and pall replaced the formerly friendly countenance,and she spoke with hesitation. The woman claimed to be Claire but clearly stated she was no fiend. A nudist maybe, but certainly not a fiend.

Perplexed by this information, Gabrielle asked another question and it went something like this. "You’re Claire?"

With a type of endearing innocence in her eyes, Claire re-affirmed her answer. It was then that Xena came back on track and took over the interrogating duties. I guess we now know why Gabrielle doesn’t get to ask a lot of the questions and I bet you always thought it was ‘cause Xena did the pinch thing.

Without having to resort to such methods, Xena was able to find out that Claire was in that vicinity on the night in question. In a comforting manner she continued to press Claire. It was far more comforting than Gabrielle was comfortable with and with a loving and reminding smack to Xena’s head with her staff, (don’t worry it wasn’t all that hard a hit), Gabrielle made her point.

Claire finally broke down and admitted the truth after seeing Gabrielle whacking Xena. She did not want to fall victim to such violence and confessed her most horrid secret. Once a month she suffered the wrath of her own body and its wanting needs. Try as she might, she had no control over her desires of the flesh and until satiated in carnality, she was helpless to resist. Interference brought about an unfathomable consequence, which was also beyond her control.

Xena moved forward to console the naked and crying woman, but came to a quick halt as a staff whooshed in front of her. Keeping her proper distance, she reassured Claire she knew of herbs that could help with such afflictions and bloating too. Xena told her that she had heard of this malady and that it was called ‘Pervasive Mandatory Sex’ or ‘PMS’’ for short.

Through her sniffles and tears, Claire began to smile again with the hope of a treatment and the idea of living a normal life. Effusively she thanked her new savior and being so enthusiastic in the doing so, leapt into the unexpectant arms of the also now grateful warrior. Noting the length of time it was taking Xena to separate herself from Claire’s clutching, Gabrielle loudly cleared her throat and tapped impatiently on the bare shoulder of the excited woman.

Seeing that Xena was incapable of speech, Gabrielle told the adoring Claire that there was something she could do for them. Not even bothering to find out what it was, Claire agreed to do whatever she had to. At that moment Xena let out a groan, which resulted in another swat from the bard and the not so subtle reminder of Hermaphaditis’ condition.

Xena fixed Claire all up with the necessary herbs and Gabrielle insisted she go throw something on before they headed back to where they left Hermaphaditis. They found her gurgling in her own grotesque way awaiting their return.

Upon seeing Claire, Hermaphaditis shook in fear, which is not a good thing for someone already generating so much ooze. Not seeing how it was possible, Xena observed that even more of the mucus substance drained from the quaking onlooker. Reassuring her from, afar not wanting to end up like she had already been, Gabrielle told Hermaphaditis of Claire’s affliction and that she had agreed to un-curse her.

The uncursing process took a little longer than expected due to Claire’s convulsive retching every time she looked at Hermaphaditis. But eventually it was done and low and behold, when things returned too normal, Hermaphaditis turned out to be quite the babe. And another whooshing staff kept Xena at bay.

Despite the herbs already consumed and the fact that it wasn’t even that time of the month for Claire, she felt that all too familiar desire begin to grow when she looked into Hermaphaditis’ eyes. And I’ll have to say ditto for Hermaphaditis when she returned the gaze. Claire suggested Hermaphaditis take advantage of the nearby stream to wash up and being the friendly girl that she is, she even offered to give her a hand.

Xena and Gabrielle just stood there watching as the two infatuated women walked away lost in each other’s worlds. No thanks, no good-byes, they just left.

3 Months Later…

Having learned their lesson from their last getaway, our two lovers felt the need for another break but surely weren’t going to make the same mistake twice. Instead, they decided to visit an old friend who had an open door policy. If he opened the door, they would invite themselves in.

Standing on the front porch, Xena politely knocked. Only seconds later the door swung open and the cheerful face of Kamoraskan greeted them. It had been a long time tradition in his family to welcome all visitors from far and wide and he upheld the tradition with pride. Gesturing excitedly for them to come in, Kam invited his friends to stay and visit as long as they were able.

Happily they entered Kam’s domicile and knew there they would find the privacy they needed. He’s hard of hearing, don’t you know.

Finally, I didn’t think I was going to make it, but here it is. 

The End.